Worst Blog Ever

Ok, so I had a bit of a strange dream last night.  I was back in High School with all of my friends, but instead of being people, we were all cartoon versions of opossums - as you'd expect.  However, I wasn't like all the other opossums, as I had a missing tail and I had to wear a prosthetic tail, which caused me no end of shame. Added to this was the fact that it looked like I was suffering from mange.  So all in all, I wasn't the best example of a hunky male opossum.  Anyway, my good opossum friend and I were discussing my secret mega-crush on Keri Adams, who despite being in High School (opossum high school), was still anchoring Global News in Vancouver - not the opossum version of Global news, which has seen its numbers dwindle over the years, but rather the real Global News.  Which I think spoke to Keri’s professionalism - I mean the network must have truly believed in her right?  How often do you see a marsupial anchoring a newscast for a large metropolitan area...that isn’t geared towards other marsupials?

Anyway, my good opossum friend had arranged to set me up with Keri to go out on a date.  Now being an opossum with a bad case of mange, and a prosthetic tail, I was quite nervous about our date as I was sure my good opossum friend had told some little white lies about me in order to have Keri go out with me.  So in order to make as good an impression as possible, I wanted to wash my car before the date.  But as my convertible Mercedes was invisible, I couldn't locate the spot where I had parked it, so I spent a large amount of time walking around seemingly empty parking spots pressing my key fob in order to hear the beep-beep once I had stumbled upon my car.

I finally found my car, and then the scene fast forwarded to me picking up Keri and we were off to the restaurant we had chosen.  All the time in the car, I had steered the conversation into asking her open ended questions in an effort to keep her from discussing my prosthetic tail.  She seemed to have the good manners enough not to discuss my mange, which I think was a classy move.  A little further into the drive, we seemed to have veered out of Vancouver's city centre onto the High Level bridge in Edmonton, where we saw a large 747 had mistakenly misconstrued the bridge for an airport runway; which is kind of strange as the airport was clearly right next to the bridge.  Luckily, I had seen the plane coming in early enough to take evasive action and steered onto an off ramp (of which the High Level bridge had many), and quickly drove down below the bridge and out of the way of the falling debris from the 747.  We were just missed by one of the Rolls-Royce engines, which I helpfully identified to Keri in an effort to show her my broad range of knowledge, but the car was clipped by one of the wing tips.

At that point, I woke up.

While pretty close to real life, you’d have to admit that there are a few things that seemed a bit off here.  I mean, off ramps on the High Level Bridge?  Come on...